Planned Patience

Wednesday at the gym is usually leg day for me.  So I squat, do weighted lunges, dead lift and a few other things that target my quads, calves, hamstrings.  It’s a grueling workout, and I’m left feeling like jelly when I walk out of the gym.  I love it.

So I was finishing my first set of dead lifts.  A dead lift, for those of you who aren’t into weight training, is just like it sounds – a weighted bar is picked up and put down.  Repeatedly.  The difficulty with deads is twofold.  One must keep her back straight, lifting with her legs, and be able to hold onto the bar well enough to bring it all the way up.  On Wednesday, I was deadlifting 135 pounds.  It’s not that much weight, but for me, it works (I weigh less than that!) and I was pleased that I’d completed my first set.  Deads can be really taxing on the central nervous system, so I made sure to rest a few solid minutes before attempting my next set.  I was anxious to get on with the rest of my session so I could get home and sit to my pages.  Breathing in deep, I got the first three up just fine. 

And then the fourth.  The fourth one just wouldn’t budge.  I picked up the bar maybe two inches from the ground and couldn’t get any further.  Setting it back down, I tried to regain my focus.  BOB’s We Run This was loud in my ears, and I tried to visualize myself lifting the weight.  Tried again.  And failed.

What the fuck.  I’ve lifted way more weight than a measly one hundred and thirty five pounds.  Embarrassed and frustrated with myself, I decided to deload the bar and head off for the rest of my workout.  I chewed over why I failed that set through the remaining thirty minutes of my exercise. 

Maybe I’m just weak, I thought.  Or maybe I need to improve my grip strength.  Or maybe.  Maybe I didn’t recover long enough, wasn’t patient with my body, giving it the time it needed to regain strength.   

So maybe I’m not being patient in life right now, even though I think I am.  Maybe I need more recovery time before I can really jump back into it and try again.  Lately, I’ve been saying over and over about myriad things that I don’t have time for it.  Time to put the brakes on that sentiment, and learn a bit about slowing down, recovery, and patience.