Cake Day!

Today is my birthday!  I am officially into my thirties, and it feels so great.

I arrived home today to find not ONE but TWO bouquets of flowers waiting for me.  Anya sent me something gorgeous and blue (you know, for something new) and my sweet sweet neighbors upstairs gifted me some lilies and sunflowers.  I opened the door to go for my mail and almost tripped on the packages.  The thoughtfulness of these people almost brought me to tears.  What a wonderful reminder that even if I’m sitting in my lab much of the time, there are folks out in this wide world who love and appreciate me. 

After spending the weekend in New York, I am feeling decidedly reset.  There were some wonderful surprises to be had in the city, and I’ll write more about them next month during my theme of gratitude.  Until then, some overall thoughts on my trip.

Before I left, I had a conversation with one of my office mates about some trepidation I was feeling about my trip.  I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but there was a feeling of something being a little off.  She suggested I find a mantra, and that’s why I was singing to Ganesh last week.  Thankfully, travel to and from the city went smoothly.  My flights were short and restful, and getting into and out of Manhattan wasn’t a problem. 
I arrived on Friday in the afternoon and had some hours to kill before Sig was free.  So, I wandered a while, mused over life and found myself in a small burger joint with a glass of grapes.  Silly place for a part time vegan chick to end up, I know.  But it was cold and I was tired of walking.  I’d spent hours rambling through the city and just wanted a rest, a quiet space to consider the truths I’d discovered along my walk.

Sipping my grapes, I listened to Erykah sing about being a Bag Lady and considered my life.  How New York, right?  In a moment of pure and honest self-awareness, I realized what my trepidation was about the trip … and you know what I did?  I made a grown folk decision!  I won’t go into detail about what it was, but the point is that I considered life and the folks who I hold dear, and realized that it was up to me to keep the fire lit.

Why am I telling this story?  Because a younger me would have said Fuck it, and done what I wanted, with no thought for others or my future self.  But grown up Jess realized that if I want to continue spending time in the ways I see fit, I need to honor myself, my heart, and my truth.  So guess what happened?  I made the right choice, and I feel so light because of it.