Listing Lists

Like most creatives, I think I’m somewhat attached to certain parts of life.  Like, I want my coffee in the same cup every work morning, I want to do the same things while I prepare for the office, the same steps for each moment.  I leave the house within seconds of the same time every day, and that gives me a bit of satisfaction.  It validates that I’m keeping on the path I’ve set and created for myself, as well as the idea that the structure I’m extending to this life is, well, worthwhile.  It would be very easy to throw up my hands and decide that I’m not doing anything besides drinking tea and writing all day.  But that would get me nowhere; so instead, I craft lists for myself, steps that must be taken (and therefore measured) to ensure that I keep moving on. 

This week, I’ve started something new.  After I sit for Thig’s listed journal entry, I write a note to myself.  Nothing major or epic, or even world changing … just a short little note that I tape to one of my cupboards before I head out for my professional day. I list the tasks I need to complete for the evening, dinner selections and options on other things to do if I’m bored.  And you know what?  It’s working! 

Every evening this week, I’ve come home to a note that starts out, “Hello Gorgeous!  Here’s what you need to do…”  It’s as if when writing to my future self, my present self engages all of the awesomeness that comes from living in the moment.  So when I arrive at my lopsided flat after twelve hours in a world that means little to my future, I am able to center, refocus, and begin anew.

This exercise is teaching me what time really means for the moment.  Sure, it’s easy to watch the clock tick seconds and minutes, but if I’m not living – full on honest and wholly living – each individual moment, then there is little left for me.  So I’ll keep on with my list to myself, as much as reminder of what I need to be doing as a reason to keep on doing it.