22.10.15

Thawing River

Thursday’s Thought

Rebirth of the self – in any form or variety – is essentially letting go of one version to embrace the next. Sure, it’s a generally an upgrade in some sense, as transitions often encourage us to become greater, better, more, but as such, a transition is still a difficult and sometimes frustrating experience.
This flux of transition is a theme that has accompanied me over the last eighteen months as I’ve navigated my way through graduate school, life as a thirty-something divorcee, trying to get a handle on what is it that calls to my spirit, what will sustain and fulfill me, and ultimately what will make me happy.

As late, in realizing that the transitionary period is as much a journey of the self as is the ultimate destination, I have become aware of the fact that these actions have helped the over-arching theme of self-betterment, but I’ve been in too much of a rush to get to the next train stop that I’ve forgotten to enjoy this part.

Shit.

Okay, all is not lost because I still don’t know what I’m doing with my next chapters, but damn if I don’t wish I had seen this truth just a bit sooner. Maybe then I would have found ways to incorporate more joy and less stress into these last 540-some odd days. Efed’s truth that she shared with me recently keeps floating back into my brain. It is not happy people who are thankful; it is thankful people who are happy. Feeling frozen and cold has done little to help me; it’s only encouraged me to think negative thoughts and find the dark instead of the light. A little cold snap every now and again is reasonable and to be expected … but it’s time to thaw!



No comments:

Post a Comment