Being
held accountable, that is, having to own my shit and keep on moving, is
something that I’m able to do well on my own. At least, that’s what I’ve always
thought. Before I entered into recovery, I thought I was handing things just
fine. I mean, I was living, sustaining, able to maintain, and that seemed like
enough for me.
Now,
the level of accountability to which I am held is so far from what I have
experienced. Knowing that I have to answer to someone and that excuses are
going to fall on deaf ears has changed my perspective in so many ways, and not
just with regard to eating. The other day, as I was preparing for bed and ready
to crash, I checked my food tracking app and realized I was low on my calories.
Not super low, but about 300 off my mark. The fitness goals I have in mind don’t
allow me time to ‘be low’ on days, nor do they allow me to miss my calorie
intake, since the drive of all of this is getting to 2100 a day. I’d already
brushed my teeth and was nestled into the hotel bed when I discovered my
number. Well fuck.
A huge
(and I mean universe sized) part of me wanted to just turn out the light and go
to bed. What’s three hundred calories, give or take, in the scheme of all of
this? I wrestled with myself, turning over reasons why I shouldn’t eat, and why
I should. Excuses like I’d just brushed my teeth, I was already in bed, it was
late, I was tired, blah blah blah, ping-ponged in my head. Coupled with those
excuses were reasons why I SHOULD get my ass out of bed and at least have a
protein shake. Namely, the resounding reason kept coming back to the fact that
once a week, I turn my logs over to my Coach. Knowing I was going to be held
accountable for the day, and that I would actually have to show someone was
enough pressure for me to throw back the covers, scoop out some protein and
chug those three hundred calories. Sure, I could have just ignored it, and gone
to sleep. But that wouldn’t have served me in any way. It wouldn’t have
advanced this journey, and ultimately, would have been a step back. I don’t
have time for bullshit. I don’t have time for missed days. I’m in full on
#beastmode, which means even in moments like that I have to keep on moving
forward.
Boom.
I love running across people who are doing such an amazing job restoring prestige to the word recovery. The social narrative is aversive, unless one is rehabbing a physical injury.
ReplyDeleteGreat use of behavior Analytically based self management techniques to reach criterion. I don't practice, am not certified, but was well schooled. I have applied it to my own life. I used accountability model composed of a tattoo, a Keith Richards philosophy, to increase test scores, and graduate from Grad School. I found that giving a commitment response to coaches (professors, friends, lovers) effective for people who are honest. The Motivating Operation of overall wellness, is strengthened by pairing the Motivating Operation to not be full of shit; that's a wicked combo.
It's awesome you are expanding your accountability lens out more into the world. It's important to note, that studies prove burst of non preferred behaviors ( for example not wanting to have a protein shake) are likely to increase during baseline or initial observation due to potential reactivity by the client, or immediately following implementation of the treatment plan. When implementation occurs, it may be aversive, but when burst occur ignoring the non preferred behavior is the most effective option. A coach needs to objectively observe the behavior. The client then is still accountable; the coach would then model the preferred behavior and set up another contingency to perform the behavior properly. This strengthens the team work because it proves bad days do happen; great ones do also. It shows how to fix something if it breaks down, maintenance is crucial for preservation.
This stresses the importance of patience, and getting those great ones who have your back; trust their abilities, know they are with you for a reason. Don't be rigid, think outside the box, you're creativity is special when combined with the discipline you pride yourself on. Many do not have either in them; you posses, and excel in both. Giddy Up!
The best designs are often the most flawed; only because we cannot prepare or anticipate all contingencies, or extraneous variables. Always introduce new variables whose function strengthens a functional relation to the ultimate criterion. Concepts like happiness, laughter, love, are the most foundational blocks to build on, because they cannot be measured, or bought at a store. You can get far in life if you can fill yourself with those 3 things, and add stimuli that support their function.
You are doing an amazing job reaffirming the strength we can all grab and show the world. Continue to ripple this work throughout your life. Even "Beastmode" himself Marshawn Lynch has to take plays off though; he is only as good as his team, and support system in place. He has some of the sickest runs of all time; he cannot block for himself, or throw himself the ball. Sometimes he just needs someone to get in his ass.
Keep up all your great work. You inspire people across social, and gender lines, which in itself, can be a great life fully accomplished.
You move the bar higher; that's what makes you special.