Love is True

Sweet Saturday

Ghost and Michee got their wedding photos back earlier this week! Wow oh wow. Their photographer, Tonya Cook, did such an amazing job. She managed to capture their special day in such perfect simplicity, truth, and love. I think I’ve looked through this wedding album four times already from start to finish. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen my brother happier. He’s fortunate to have such a caring and loving as his life partner.

I popped over to their house earlier this week to say hello. The boys are growing so quickly. Every time I see Beef, he has learned new words. On Tuesday, he pointed to his shirt and said, “Batman” and then proceeded to point to the pantry and request a snack. The kid can mow some chips and guac! I love all of my nephews equally. They all manage to surprise and fascinate me – each has his own personality, likes and traits, and I’ve gone from seeing them as blobs of bones to being real humans. I know that sounds rough, but it’s the truth! That said, there’s something about Beef that just pulls at me. Maybe it’s because I know he’s the last kid, or maybe his quiet stoicism reminds me of Ghost. I can’t put my finger on it. But every time I see him, I can easily see why parents rave about having children. Don’t worry – that’s not going to happen any time soon (or ever!) for me, but I get it.

I think because we expect children to be malleable, because we expect them to constantly change, we give them more reign to express themselves. If one day they love purple and the next can’t stand the color, we accept it. A child’s prerogative, or some such. Maybe the sweet lesson is that we should extend the same sort of flexibility to grown folk too. We become so rigid, too set in our ways. Sure, our limitations help to frame our personalities, but they can also get in the way too. It’s so easy to become inflexible. I do it all the time. Hell, I think I spent the latter part of my twenties examining myself in terms of what I won’t do. And that really didn’t get me anywhere … except holding a long list of shit I don’t like, shit I won’t do and shit that doesn’t make me happy.

Maybe it’s all the Oprah themed conversations Efed and I have been having lately, or maybe it’s that I’m finally turning a corner, but I see this modality of living as completely ridiculous! There’s no sense in it at all. I’d much prefer to be flexible. One day I might like purple and the next I might now. I think I’m okay with that.