Reflections

Tuesday’s Truth

In my lab, my desk faces a window that Anya gifted me at the start of my MFA. It’s been hanging on the same wall since I moved into my space, (which is rare for me, as every season seems to find a new reconfiguration of my furniture!) and over the last almost two years, it has served as a reminder of various things.

Namely, I’ve used it as a source of positive reflection. Haha, I know – a window giving me a reflection. It doesn’t actually reflect me in the flesh as it does what I want from this life and this world. Because of the glass panes, I’m able to use it as a sort of dry erase board. Over the months, I’ve had quotes from my pal Ari, some fitness-themed words of inspiration and a litany of other uplifting phrases. When I felt it was time for a change, I called on the Oracle (known as Google to the rest of the world) to offer me some words that might give me pause. It was an effective way to keep my mind fresh and to continue thinking about what it is that will help me going. It’s been a fine system, and has helped encourage results.

For the entire summer, the lower right pane has held this question – “What do you want most?” No one famous said it (or maybe someone did, I don’t know) nor did I read it in a book. Maybe I heard it somewhere along the way; I’m not sure. The point is this: after a long meditation one afternoon, this question came to me unbidden. I was sitting in the lab, reflecting on all the things I want to do, considering ways that I might help advance the dreams of myself and others, and was feeling like I was pulled in a million different directions. I’d just preformed a powerful Kundalini kriya and was very much open and attuned to the Universe. And boom! Here comes this question.

On the surface, it’s something that most folks would likely be able to answer quickly. Sure, on a micro level, that’s pretty easy for people to do. Shelter, happiness, love, food all come to mind. But the real work, the true work, comes when one steps back from the micro needs of the self and begins to examine the macro needs of a whole. So what is that I want most? Summer is drawing to a close and I don’t think I’m any closer to discovering what I want. But I know that the question has offered me the kind of clarity that I so lovingly seek.

Wu Sah.