Rerack. Reset

Tuesday’s Thought

Today at the gym, I was working chest and back with a little accessory arm work thrown in for good measure. When I wrote my workout, I chuckled at my set numbers, thinking that I’d probably have to amend a bit. I like to challenge myself, but I also try to be realistic, and I knew that I was being ambitious with expecting to hit 8x5 on my bench right after a hard back set of rows.

Throughout the beginning hour of my session, I focused less on what I was doing and more on why. As I’ve written, training has so much to do with my recovery as it does with finding the inner strength to set, crush and exceed goals. The exercises are now so familiar that I don’t need exact and immediate concentration on contraction and release of whatever muscle I’m working. This allows my mind a freedom that I’ve experienced on long runs and in Kundalini practice. It also affords me the chance to step outside of myself, to devoid the self of the body, and remove the ego from my movements. In this way, the sweat becomes pure for me.

This afternoon, I was able to enter that middle-mind space with relative ease, musing over my future plans and goals, and the ways in which the relationships I have with folks who are dear to me help me to see my value and worth. Ego continued to slip away, lost as I was in my thoughts and my music. I startled myself when I realized I’d worked through all of my workout without altering one single set and was on my second to last exercise – flat, close grip bench.

Last week, I failed on my incline bench. The week before, I also failed. So it was with some trepidation that I was attempting flat bench. It’s my least favorite exercise, mainly because it never seems to get any easier for me! It takes so much mental focus for me to perform well. Instead of tripping over myself and fretting, I turned up an old 36 album, and talked myself into such an upbeat mental space, repeating over and over that I was going to crush it. This is the month for #rerack #reset #repeat! And I have some lofty goals to accomplish. So. I started out with a weight that used to be my max. Got it with ease for all five reps, and decided to push a bit. Added five more pounds to start and got that too. Fuck it, I thought, as I added another five pounds. And guess what? I hit it. It was tough, but I got it. And I pr’d while doing it.

It’s fantastic what the body can do when pushed to limits. It’s even more beautiful when the body is so well trained that this can be achieved while the mind goes in search of another sort of bliss. After my compulsory handstand practice and super set of dips, pullups and pushups, I reviewed my workout. I didn’t miss a beat, made my sets exactly as I wanted, and walked out of the gym with a clearer understanding of what it is I do and who I do it for.