признательность

A commonly accepted definition of gratitude is the quality of being thankful.  Being thankful, then, can be defined as expressing gratitude.  That these two definitions are inexplicitly linked isn’t some magic of the English language.  Rather, it is my opinion that these two words are rooted in the same concept because one cannot be thankful without feeling some bit of gratitude.  This month, the theme for this blog is gratitude.  I’ve been chewing over the ways in which I want to write about gratitude, and think that the best way will be to showcase individuals and experiences in my life which have led me to this feeling of being thankful. 

Because my NYC trip is still so fresh, I’m going to dedicate this first post to Efed.

As I’ve mentioned, Efed is my older sister.  She’s back in the States now after living abroad for a number of years, and even though she’s in Philly and I’m in the Nati, it still feels good to have her home.  Having an incredibly intelligent and successful older sister can be something of a challenge at times – our worlds are vastly different (she’s corporate, I’m granola) but fundamentally, we’re of the same stock, and therefore quite similar.  Efed and I didn’t always get along.  There were some knock down drag out fights along the way (ahem, “I live in this city”) but for all the bullshit that we went through, we’re now closer than ever.  I’m blessed to count my sister as one of my best friends.  She is thoughtful and kind, listens to what I’m really saying even when my words don’t match up, and gets me in a way that no one else does.  A few weeks ago, we skyped for an hour on a Sunday afternoon when I should have been revising my thesis and she should have been catching up on work.  Lamenting some woes, Efed picked apart what I was really saying and put plans into action that she knew I would appreciate.   She wore a pair of cat ears during the entire call, super nonchalant-like, as if they were just a part of her daily wardrobe … the call ended with me sending her a video of a pair of her slippers I’m holding ‘hostage’ telling her they are never coming home.  This is the connection we share, compacted into a short Sunday afternoon.

Sure, there have been moments when I wanted to ring her neck (and her, mine) but what sister relationship doesn’t have that?  As we grow older, and learn more about one another, I find myself increasingly relying on Efed’s insight, wisdom, courage and strength.  It takes a strong woman to raise herself from the gutter, put herself through undergrad and graduate school and then embark on a career that is as cut-throat as they come.  I look up to her, and I hope she knows that.  With my own journeys taking me all over the place, and Efed’s travelling ways, I know there will likely be periods of time when we can’t see one another.  But, as long as there isn’t a suitcase nearby that she can roll down the street, I’m sure we’ll continue to develop our friendship, our connection, and our bond.