Shopping for Change

Sweet Saturday

Weeks keep moving. We’re only something like 19 days away from the end of 2015. Where has the year gone?

This week, I’ve had the chance to really look at what I want for my next step. Earlier today, I went shopping with Willis. We needed a proper catch-up after her wedding and my graduation. It was so lovely to spend a bit of time with her. Every time I see her, I’m reminded of why she’s so boss.

In the course of conversation, she asked me of my next steps. As I rattled off my PhD plans and the schools to which I’ve applied, I realized that for all the years we’ve known one another, it’s been rare that we’ve been doing the same thing … at the same time. With her pending PhD studies beginning alongside my own, it feels like we’re starting to finally sync up! It was a sweet reminder that even though out worlds are decidedly different, we can still find ways in which we can connect.

Willis also remarked that my time in the north was “a strange time in the life of Jess.” An understatement, to be sure, but so darn true. I told her that it was needed, and that it’s clear I don’t belong in suburbia. She quipped, “Well I think we all knew that deep down.” Match point. She’s right, of course. Anyone who knows me probably had the same nugget of a thought the whole time I was there, but it was something that’s needed. Something that I had to do, as much to prove to myself that it wasn’t what I wanted, as because it offered me a chance to figure out what it is I do want.

Life can be like that sometimes. We have to work through what we don’t want to get to what makes us really shine. When I reflect on time I’ve spent in Cincinnati since returning, I realize that most of these last 20 months have been helping me pluck out the things I don’t want and replace them with things that serve me best. Of course, it’s all about balance, and that’s something I’m still learning, but it’s a nice way to be living especially given the alternative.

After our shopping, we hugged and dapped the way long-time friends are known to do. It felt good to see her, a sweet reminder that even in my solitary pursuits, I’m not alone.