Wednesday's Wisdom

It's amazing, isn't it, the way Spirit gifts one the exact truth that one needs to see?

Last night, I went for a run after work and came home to a rabbit standing peacefully in my yard.  She didn't hop off at the sound of my car, or my clomping through frosted grass, but stood there, watching.  (Or, at least I imagine that's what she did, since I couldn't exactly see her, but you get the idea.)  The rabbit has long been my spirit animal, the one in the pantheon of guides with whom I resonate the most.  There's a Russian proverb that says, "If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one."  True story, but hard to apply some times.  The point of this is that as a writer (and a human, really) I find myself consistently being pulled in multiple directions, all the while trying to maintain my path.  Last night's Spirit gift was a wonderful reminder and a gentle nudge to stay the course, keep my path, honor the process.  (Side note, if you follow my instagram at jess_write you'll see that most of my posts surround these themes.)

Even more wonderful is that yesterday, I sent a long rambling email to my Spirit Mother, Anya, lamenting the confusion of this life, and not only did she take the time to write back promptly, but she offered suggestions and a plan on how to make life happen.  Blessed, I am.  Thank you, Anya!  The direction she sees when I can't find a light is marvelous.  She is a marvel.

To that, I should note that I was able to reconnect with a long-lost friend yesterday who I haven't seen in FIFTEEN years.  What the hell, man, when did I get so old that fifteen years could even pass?  The evening was a wonderful reminder of every reason why.   We talked about old times, the Price Hill days, the old crew.  Funny thing though, our conversation didn't just revolve in cloudy reminiscing.  We spoke of dreams and aspirations, truth found in circumstances.  Yes, Yes, Yes.  Thanks again, Universe!

So, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and while it's a day where everyone suddenly decides to be thankful for x, y, and z, I'm going to branch out here and say that every day, I find something for which I can give thanks.  Yesterday, that email and my rabbit.  Today, the opportunity to be sitting in my lab, writing, crafting and dreaming.

Kind of comical though that the day where this country comes together to 'be thankful' is rife with over-indulgences and gluttony.  Two rabbits, eh?

Happy Day, y'all.

Res is Over

Back to the lab after ten days of awesomeness ... what a whirlwind of amazing experiences.  This was my third residency with Spalding, and it seems like every time gets better, every time I leave with a greater truth, a stronger sense of who I am - not just as writer, but as woman, an individual, and a human.

My brother asked his girl to marry him yesterday!  I am so ecstatic for the happy couple, and realize that my travel plans are going to be orchestrated around their wedding.  Ghost, my brother, is my bestie (along with Efed, my sister) so I really want to be a part of their planning, the revelry of their union.  He proposed under water during a scuba lesson.  How cute, right?  Good stock, that kid.

I unpacked this afternoon, literally and figuratively.  The beauty of a low residency program is that it offers a nice haven of writerly suggestion with the caveat that the other world looms somewhere in the distance.  My flat welcomed me, of course.  Plants and faeries were well cared for by my good friend, Rubin.

So it's the week of Thanksgiving.  For lots of people that means obligations and nonsense and whatever other bullshit comes from American family conglomerates.  For the Evans clan, it means extending invitations to folks ... folks who know that family goes far beyond blood lines, that family is not just the standard "We grew up together, so we have to share a table" but is "We are kindred, so let's break bread"  ... our table is always open to good people.
Tonight, with trepidation, I extended an invitation to Rubin, a dear friend who was going to be alone on the one holiday that celebrates gratitude.  Of course, I talked about it with Ghost and Efed first, and both vehemently said YES, invite our friend!  It makes my heart happy to know that the invitation was well received and happily accepted.  Now I'm doubly looking forward to my favorite holiday - as much to share it with Ghost, his new to be bride, Efed, and the nephews, but also Rubin.

Wild and intense, the last ten days have birthed fourteen pages of poetry (what?!) a new short story and an idea for a novel.  Residency has ended, time to write my thesis, and pour into my work.  But first - first, I'll break bread with my family.

Residency Is Under Way!

Hello from res!  

It's been a whirlwind of a first day, but experience has taught me that residency always goes too quickly.  So, I'm trying to be present in every moment, in all conversation, and each lecture.  

What a wonderful community Spalding fosters.  Our beloved program director, Sena, begins each first dinner with the words, "Welcome Home."  At my first residency, I thought that was silly and strange.  I didn't understand that this community would quickly become my home.  Sena's words, I now see, are well chosen and perfect for the environment.  I am home.  Home amongst like-minded writer folk who become just as excited about one single line as I do.  Home alongside men and women who have 'other' careers that pay bills but hold out hope that their writing needs to be heard, read and enjoyed.  It's a nice reminder of why I do what I do.
This residency is a touch bittersweet though because it is the last time I'll be here with the members of my class.  Because of my Jappa move, I'll switch to extended semesters next summer and will attend my residency in Greece.  I'm not complaining about the Grecian adventure, but it is sad to think I won't graduate with these folks. All the more reason to remain and maintain presence in every moment!
My brain if filled with craft words, those buzzy sorts of adjectives and adverbs that I always forget I know until I'm back home.  Words like interiority to describe a character, structural elements, the narrative thread, the arch.  I miss these words when I'm not here.  I need to make a concerted effort to maintain a res mind when I go back to my city and my bill paying life.
Jappa is, of course, still on my mind.  I have some manga comics to look through while I'm here.  One of my res buddies spent a year teaching in Fukishima, so I've been picking his brain on things to do and places to visit.  And of course, I've told everyone that I won't be here come next May, so I have many promises to follow this blog. It will be a crazy, wild experience to be sure.  But it's something that I need to do.  Earlier today, we workshopped a piece written by a woman who is currently living in Qatar.  This is a global culture.  I know that I will be able to continue my writing career with ease once I'm across the pond.
To that, I always pick up a piece of Spalding gear at residency.  I've amassed a collection of t-shirts, a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants.  Forlornly, I walked past the bookstore today, not sure if I should pick up any new swag.  I'm trying to take only one suitcase with me on the move, so do I really need another piece of clothing?  
Maybe that's part of the lesson I'm learning in the prep for this life change.  All the stuff I think I need, all of the random dollars that have been gobbled at Target are really meaningless in the end. When I distill my life into the concept of taking only one suitcase, I realize I need my stones, my Sylvia and Ginny (stuffed cat/rabbit animals, respectively) this machine, my journal, running gear and my portable JBL speaker for tunes.  (Can't live without music!)  While the other things, fashionable clothes and shoes, scarves, my collection of mugs and all the fun art I've created over the years, are wonderful and have a place in life, they're all just ... things.  Damn, that's pretty zen.

Sixteen Weeks ... and counting

Strange space to be in ...

Residency is in a few short days, and while that's awesome and fab, it's also mad intense.  I have had a pre-reading list longer than my cumulative bibliography (well, not quite, but you know what I mean) and the pressures of trying to sell my stuff, figure out my move, declare my critical thesis, work on my creative work and maintain my training schedule has been ... overwhelming.

Usually, I go to Lexington to visit with my spiritual mother, Anya.  This term, my work schedule requires me to be at the office on Friday morning, so the trip was nixed.  I'm sad to be missing my time with her, and know that the send-off to which I'm accustomed (usually includes good home-cooked Hungarian-esque food, copious amounts of grapes, a fresh breakfast, and a packed lunch) won't be a part of this trip makes me nostalgic for res' past.  I can't believe it was a year ago that I started my MFA journey, even more so - can't believe how far life has led me.

This is a photo of the gift that Anya gave me to commemorate my first term at Spalding.  It's a window that she re-purposed, sanded and cleaned ... and took the time to make into art.  It's been hanging in my studio (in Columbus, and now in Cincinnati) and is gentle, albeit constant, reminder of where I've come and where I'm going.

If a perfect stranger told me this time last year that I'd be sitting in a lopsided flat near Xavier in the middle of Cincinnati while prepping for a move to Japan, I would've laughed.  Life has a way of presenting beautiful circumstances at the most interesting times.

So. While I'm anxious and excited for residency, reconnecting with friends I only see twice a year and the wonderful community that Spalding fosters, in the back of my mind, I am thinking of Japan and the life that awaits me in three short months.

Tonight I said "See ya later" to the lackadaisical attitude I've had toward my writing,  I say that somewhat in jest, seeing as I'm in my lab at least an hour a day ... But it's been without focus, I've just been tapping away because I want to.  Now comes the work.  I have to declare my thesis, begin crafting a critical essay (fifty pages of what?) that suggest and either refute or dispute a claim.  Argh.  It seems daunting to just tap it out.  But, it's a means to an end.  Soon, it won't be Nati streets I maneuver, but Jappa, and then, Germany.

Seventeen weeks to go!

I'm starting this blog today, seventeen weeks before I leave for Japan.  I'll be teaching English and yoga on the island of Shikoku for fifteen months, and then plan to go on to Germany for my PhD.  A bit about me, just to get it out of the way -

After dropping out of high school twice, I earned a GED and two undergraduate degrees in Linguistics and Sociology.  Currently in pursuit of my MFA in Fiction, I have dreams of earning a doctorate in comparative literature, and teaching at a university.  I think that my experiences can help to shape lives someway.  
Some of my words have been published in various places, which is humbling and awesome at the same time.  When I'm not bleeding my fingers on my computer, I'm lifting heavy and running.  

I grew up stupid poor, and by that I mean it's a wonder I stand upright and use cutlery.  It is by sheer willpower and determination that I escaped a life of EBT cards and waiting on the first of the month.
I speak Russian, am learning Japanese and will tackle German once I get to the land of the rising sun/son.  

I intend for this blog to be an airing of thoughts on my move across the pond, the experiences I have while there (and leading up to them) and general musings of the way life changes when life becomes what one imagines it to be.

I like crystal stemware, scented candles, and complimentary lighting.  I love the sound a cello makes on an early Sunday morning, can quote Tupac and Homer in the same breath and generally accept the fact that I am something of an enigma.

I've just spend eight years in exile from my childhood home of Cincinnati, and though I've been here for ten months, it still doesn't feel like home.  The move to Japan is much a culmination of a dream deferred (thanks, Langston) as it is a decided action to make something more of myself.  

I'm a writer by trade, but it doesn't pay.  Finishing up my MFA at the wonderful Spalding University in Louisville, KY, I don't want this blog to be so perfect that I would submit it to one of my elusive and wonderful professor mentors, but it's not going to be scratch either.  I'll dedicate myself, if you will as well.  Dearest reader, if you're taking the time to read the preface, I hope then that you will continue to read the rest.  

Musings will likely include the ways in which this move is impacting my life, both on a social and emotion level, the notion of living across the pond (and not just visiting) as well as my experiencing with Japanese culture, ex-pat life and looking for a path to love.    

I run hard, train harder and try to live a wholesome life.  Welcome to my world!